SSSHHHhhhhh

I'm supposed to be sleeping, but how can I when there's an angel next to me? I keep staring at her. She has such distinct Chinese features. What do I know though, about Chinese beauty. I did find out from the Dr. that she saw yesterday for her diaper rash (that she doesn't have) that she is beautiful. That's what he said. I don't think he just throws comments out like that. The back of her head is flat (like mama's) and this morning our guide Cindy said that it is a sign of beauty - that there are certain pillows they lay babies on to flatten the backs of their heads. I feel proud. I wonder what the marks of beauty are here? Fair skin? Lots of hair? Her eyes are delicately shut. Her lips are pursed together, but not angrily. She has the most beautiful smile. I keep wondering...what pushes a mother to give up her child? Was it the worst day of her life? Or was she numb? Was she poor or overpowered by her family? In-laws? Parents? Husband? How did she carry this little one so far to then be able to leave her to chance? Does she believe there is a God? What caused her mother to keep her and not abort - to set her in a place of finding? Was she forced into the decision or chained to generations of rules and expectations? Was she in love? The worst day in one woman's life brought about the best in mine. And don't feel sad for Li Li. Pray for her mother. Pray that her mother one day loves the Father and sees her baby girl in heaven. Because this I know, this child is royalty. And I also know the mercy of the Divine One. A bruised reed He will not break - a smoldering wick He will not quench. Li Li was crafted by the Master craftsman and she is the apple of His eye. One look at her and you know who made her. Not my flesh, not my traits, but she was sent from heaven. She was kept for us in the palm of His hand until the day we came to get her and bring her home. I asked Li Li (because she loves to be held) "Did you cry for me like this for 9 months?" Because she can't bear to be away from me for a minute. What did she do those 9 months???? We are making up for lost time. I don't care where I am. There's no anticipation for the United States. I no longer care what day of the month it is. December 16 came and went. I think Christmas is next week. Now that I have her, she is no longer an orphan and we are at home. xoxoamy